The Covid-19 Pandemic Has Shattered the Illusion of Control

We (that includes me) have always loved to believe that we’re in control of our own lives. It’s a fundamental part of our being to believe that we and those we care about are largely immune from small and large catastrophes. Those things happen to other people, not to us. And for the most part, that’s true. That’s why we feel compelled to plan for the future . . . because we think we will have a future that’s somewhat predictable.

And that’s all an illusion, and it always has been. At any given moment, our bodies could be harboring a life-threatening disease. A catastrophic accident could happen at any time. The phone could ring at any moment with word that a loved one has died. The job that we love and have worked so hard to attain could go away. The partner that we love could find someone else that he or she wants to be with. Our children could disregard our wise guidance and make stupid decisions that will derail their futures.

Most of the time we don’t think about those possibilities. That’s a good thing for our mental health. And in reality, disastrous events like that don’t happen to us very often. We’d be crippled with anxiety if we constantly entertained morbid thoughts on the possibility of them happening.

But the uproar surrounding the current worldwide pandemic and our collective response to it has upended our sensibilities. With both the number of confirmed cases and resultant deaths constantly rising and the narrowed world in which we suddenly find ourselves living, most of us are obsessing.

• Will we or those we most care about become infected?
• Will we or they even be alive ten days from now?
• Will the governmental and individual responses to the pandemic be sufficient to prevent our healthcare system from collapsing?
• What will happen to the economy that we all rely on? Or to our own livelihood? How will we pay our bills?

Above all, when will the world that immediately surrounds us return to normal?

I don’t pretend to have answers to any of those questions. (Actually, I do have an answer to the last one: Not anytime soon.) But I do have some suggestions for putting those anxieties somewhat at rest.

Stay in Touch with Reality

With the social media in which we are all swimming (especially when most of us have too much time on our hands), it’s important to vet information before accepting it as valid. There are all sorts of false rumors floating around out there — miracle cures, phony preventive measure that won’t actually protect anyone, crazy conspiracy theories. Don’t spread information until you’ve thought it through and confirmed that it’s reliable. Ronald Reagan told us to trust but verify. My mantra is share after verifying.

Keep Things in Perspective

A death toll of 100,000–200,000 in the United States would (will?) indeed be catastrophic. Almost all of us would see acquaintances confirmed as Covid-19 positive. But keep in mind that most individuals infected with the virus will survive it . . . and develop an immunity that might either be short-lived or even permanent. Furthermore, that death toll would only represent 0.03%-0.06% percent of the US population. (I’m using the 2018 Census Bureau estimate of a population of 372.2 million people.) More people will die of cancer during 2020 than are currently projected to die from the pandemic. And the fatalities from heart disease (nearly 650,000) will dwarf the number of projected pandemic deaths in America.
For that matter, keep in mind that even without the pandemic, 7,700 people die in the United States on the average day from natural and unnatural causes. (That’s based on data from the Centers for Disease Control.)

Don’t Keep Your Anxieties Pent Up

We’re all worried about the pandemic and what it will do to us and our world. Everyone in the world who’s aware of the situation and isn’t it a state of total denial is worried.
But don’t keep your fears locked in the echo chamber of your mind or they’ll continue to amplify themselves. Share your anxieties with family members and friends. Doing so will allow them an opportunity to vent their own fears. But share the good stuff as well — the fact that both society and government are taking measures to get the situation under control, the fact that keeping the pandemic and its death rate in perspective makes this less terrifying.
If you’ve got a formal or informal support group, use it. (I’m fortunate enough to have one that actually seems to have grown stronger since the preventive measures were implemented.)
Seek professional help if you feel you need it. If you don’t already have a therapist or a counselor or a pastor that you can turn to, call 211 to talk to a live trained information and referral specialist to be directed to a hotline counselor that can talk you off the ledge. (For more information on the free 211 service that serves 94.6% of the US population — and substantial portions of Canada as well — click here. It’s an invaluable and underused service.)

Take Reasonable Precautions and Stay Informed

This is real. Those who take the situation casually and try to proceed with business as usual are putting themselves at risk. Comply with any restrictions that have been mandated by your state or local government. Do your part to keep us all safe.
And the situation is highly fluid. Things are constantly changing. Pay attention.

Treasure Each Day

Treat each day as a gift. That’s why it’s called The Present. Rather than obsessing about what you don’t have or can’t do, focus your attention on what you do have and can do. You’re still alive and probably just about as healthy as you were a week ago.

Thank the Responders

All around us are healthcare professionals who are putting their own health at risk by testing, diagnosing, and treating pandemic victims in addition to their usual patients. In most communities, we’re still able to go out to get food (whether it’s takeout or delivery from restaurants which can no longer offer on-site dining or groceries to bring home and prepare ourselves) and access banks, gas stations, and other critical services. Thousands of truckers are out there delivering stuff to stores and hospitals. Emergency services are still being provided. Mail is still being delivered. Goods can still be ordered online to be delivered to our homes. Internet Service Providers are keeping us connected.
With the exception of those individuals who can work from home, all of the individuals underlying this infrastructure that’s keeping us going are putting themselves at risk to one degree or another. Don’t take them for granted. If you pray, keep them in your prayers. If you encounter them in person, thank them and give them an elbow tap.

We’re going to get through this. (Well, most of us are, anyway.) Thanks to modern science and communications, the toll will be nowhere near as bad as that produced by the Black Plague that reduced Europe’s population by a third during the 14th Century. While the current pandemic will be a world-changing and life-changing event of indeterminate length, our nation and the world will eventually reach a point where the restrictions that have been placed on us will be lifted.

But it will be a different world than the one that existed when we celebrated New Year’s Eve. I hope we as a people and as a nation will have learned something.

But we’ll adjust to it. We’re an adaptable species.

Remember the good old days when we didn’t have to take our shoes off before boarding an airliner?